Such Little Bodies, Such Big Messes

You know, when you are pregnant people think  it is hilarious to send you pictures and videos of massive diaper blowouts. Babies just covered in poop, onesies that will never recover-- no matter how many times they are washed. You also get lovely pictures of toddlers covered in peanut butter or shaving cream, while writing on white walls with a black permanent marker. When I was pregnant I was convinced that my friends and family were trying to torture me with proof of misdeeds by little people. 

I think that maybe those pictures and videos helped strengthen my nerves when it came to poop. Luckily, hubs and I never really had to deal with lots of poop or puke. I can count on one hand how many times in her 23 months that Baby K puked all over. Each time it was because she was inhaling her favorite food-- green beans. The explosive puke was traumatic, at the time, but so infrequent that I wasn't even going to write about it. 


What I do NOT understand is why no one ever told me about the COPIOUS amount of snot. I mean, I get that it is cold and flu season, but y'all, I wasn't ready. Honestly, I am a bright girl, but damn... where does all this snot come from?? It.Is.Everywhere. Holy shit, my new best friend is the Nose Frieda. And who came up with that bullshit?? It could be considered a torture device for mamas. Yes, there is a filter, but the act of sucking snot out of your child's nose with what can only be described as a straw on steroids, is vomit inducing. Just thinking about it makes me dry heave. It SOUNDS like you are getting the last of a yummy milkshake, but what you are slurping ain't no milkshake, my friend. And the straw is CLEAR... so you can see EVERYTHING. Y'all. Ah, the life and times of this mama. 

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