PheMOMena

So Kensie is going through a stage where she confuses the role of parent and child. Like, she CLEARLY thinks that I am her child. Ma’am.  Here is the conversation we just had:  Me: “Kensie stop with that high pitched noise.” (There was an eye roll that was so major, it cannot be adequately described in the English language.  Kensie: “But I playing!” Me: “Then go into the library and you can play as loud as you want, but I don’t want to hear that noise anymore.”  She gets off my bed, takes her Kindle and heads towards the library. Then she turns around, points her finger and says: “you a very bad girl because you keep not doing what I say!” 🥴🥴🥴 Welcome to Toddler Hell. Caffeine is our drug of choice and punishment for felonies include having to watch your kid reenact all the Disney songs she can think of (there are 2 songs that she knows by heart) on repeat. All day. The wage you pay for misdemeanors is having the person you gave birth to tell you that she is hungry. Every 15 minutes

Picture this: a ride in the car during the life and times of covid19. Little Lady K and I are only going two places, we have our masks and we are ready.  I like going on rides with my baby girl. She is extremely funny. The downside is that she HAS to have a stuffy with her on car rides. Has to. I mean, she is able to ride without one... but then behavior is dicey. No one wants to deal with that bullshit, right? Right!  So, here we are in the car and she brought Skye with her- and not just some run of the mill Skye, no... the TALKING Skye has graced us with her presence. I want to vomit. Immediately. Little Lady K is in the back and she just KEEPS pressing the button that makes Skye talk. Over and over again. Like I want to take Skye and put her under my tires and and back over her. Twice. Here is the conversation that just happened:  Me: “Alright with that Skye shit, stop pressing that button.” K: “Mama, this not Skye sit... her is a toy.” Then she rolled her eyes. But she didn’t press

I just stepped out of the shower. It is 12:43 am. As I am toweling off I hear my four year old singing “Do You Want to Build A Snowman?” right outside the bathroom door. It is official- I hate the entire Frozen franchise. If you drew an arm on a tree for any Frozen scene, I hate you. We cannot be friends. Ever.  Sweet Jesus. I’m about to start singing “Somebody Save Me!”