PheMOMena

I am awake in the wee hours of the morning, staring at my daughter who finally decided that sleep was something that she would grant the large peasants that fulfill her every need. Once she GOES to sleep, she generally sleeps for 7 hours or so, but GETTING her to concede the day is where the problems lies. We are working on it. So much has been going on this last month. Some very happy family times and some very disappointing times. A crazy election season, what folks are saying is the beginning of the end for the US and world relations. Loss of rights, loss of life, a pipeline, violence and political gain. It is like Dynasty is happening, in real life. (Y'all remember Dynasty, don't you?) This is NOT a political post... because I have a whole other blog for that... but I will say that in the last month and a half, hubs and I have shared our fears of raising a biracial daughter in this world. Some people won't get it, because they won't ever have to raise a biracia

Central Ohio has much to offer for family adventures. There is so much packed within a 60-90 minute drive and we were able to take full advantage on Friday. Hubs had the day off so we packed up Baby K, braved state route 161 on a Friday afternoon and headed 40 minutes East to a little city named Newark. Newark has been in the news this year because the Longaberger building is there. Y'all know what I am talking about, right? The building that looks like a basket. Yep, that one. There is also a branch of Ohio State out there. Neither of those attractions are the reason that we were there on Friday. We went for three specific things: root beer, museum, farmers market.  Root beer: Hubs is obsessed. Like, seriously obsessed with root beer. I'm not kidding. He has a Facebook page. He rates them. He DOES have more pictures of our daughter than root beer... I think. A few weeks ago he came out to Newark all by his lonesome to go to a root beer bar. A ROOT BEER BAR. He and his

One year ago I found out I was pregnant. I know that I have an infant and life seems to go by MONTHS at a time now, instead of days, but it really doesn't seem like a year ago. It seems like 15 years ago. Let me explain. Hubs and I talked about planning a pregnancy. Since we are (a bit) outside the prime baby making years we definitely had a talk about the possibility of not ever being parents. We were firm on the details... if we were to "get pregnant" that would be cool; if we didn't, that would be fine too... and we were not going to have any medical intervention. So IVF was off the table for us. We were just going to try and see what would happen. And guess what? We tried for a year and nothing happened. Not a thing. Month after month it seemed like our want for a baby increased and we were shot down time after time. It was sad. By July 2015, after 13 months of trying, I set up an appointment with my gynecologist to make sure that we should keep trying. Appointm

Summertime in the city. We have been hitting the streets a lot lately, traveling and such. When folks see the cute, chubby Baby K one of the first things they ask is: "Are you going to have another baby?" Uh, no-- thank you for asking. Such a weird question to ask... especially if we aren't related. Or close. Or acquaintances. This one little, old lady told me that if I didn't have another baby, Baby K would be lonely and grow up to resent me. Also, according to her, I didn't need to get the all clear from the doc before hubs and I started "trying" again... we should "just do it." Dear ma'am at the grocery store... Uh, NO. Ok, a couple things.  First:  I can honestly say, I have never had an overwhelming want or need to be a mom. I mean, it is great work if you can get it, but it certainly was not on my radar for the first 35 years of my life. Now, I love the time that I spend with my little chubbers, but it totally was not at the top o

When I was pregnant (which seems like a bajillion years ago) hubs and I decided that our baby was going to be a breastfed baby, if possible. There were a couple of reasons for this but the two important ones (to us) was 1. it is good for Baby K and 2. it is a hell of a lot cheaper than formula feeding. I mean have you SEEN the price of formula?!!? It is obscene... but I digress. Totally a personal decision for soon to be mamas. I was a formula fed baby. My sister was a breastfed baby. Whatever floats your boat at the time is exactly what every mama should do. We talked about it and decided that I should at least try breastfeeding. If it was possible and Baby K grew well, our thought process was I should stick with it as long as possible. Seven weeks in on this breastfeeding thing and I have come to the conclusion that nobody respects the buffet. Me. I am the buffet, Breastfeeding is no joke, friends. Holy crap. You are always on call. Newborns pretty much eat, sleep and poop. I knew

It is early. As in, the sun is barely up. I know that most people are up and moving around this time, but we don't generally see early morning in this house. Hubs works second shift (usually home around 2 or 2:30 am) and we have a little human that likes to play when she should be sleeping. It is early and I am awake. Awake, drinking coffee and taking it all in. This blog will tell you the funniest or weirdest events that happen on our journey of parenthood-- and there will be plenty of stories because hubs and I are old, first time parents with smart mouths and no real experience, but today... today I will fill you in on what I see in these wee hours. The house is (mostly) silent. The (three) dogs have been outside for their morning bathroom break, so they are sleeping again. The loudest one is the chihuahua- she snores like an old man. It still amazes me that such big sounds come from a six pound dog. The cat is roaming the house like a black panther-- looking for prey to pou

When you are preparing to come home with a baby one of the first things the doctors and nurses will tell you is sometimes babies have night and day cycles mixed up. That means that, more than likely, your baby will be awake at night and sleep soundly during the day. Totally true. Baby K is just now attempting to figure out a sleeping pattern of a normal person. She will sleep in her bassinet during the day, no problem. Somehow, as soon as the sun goes down, she has an aversion to the bassinet-- can't sleep there, won't sleep there. Nope. During daylight hours I have to wake her up so she can eat and play, but let the moon shine brightly in the sky-- this little night owl wants to socialize. Like she is at the club, y'all. Cooing, grunting, eye contact, smiling; I mean, you would think I was buying her an all inclusive trip to Disney World the way she is chatting me up at 3 in the morning. We are working on it. On Sunday hubs and I were made privy to something else that

It is 4:30 AM. I have been awake for two hours, after a two hour cat nap with my daughter. She is now sleeping and here I sit, watching Forensic Files, waiting for Mr. Sandman to come visit me again. The house is quiet, with the exception of the TV and the deep, slightly labored breathing of hubs, Baby K and the animals as they sleep. In the last two hours I have cuddled a crying baby, rocked her, fed her and changed a very full diaper... only to have her fill up another diaper within 5 minutes. I may never get back to sleep. As I turn to my left and look at her little sleeping face in the light of the computer and TV screens, I have no real complaints. I mean, everyone would like more sleep (and trust me, after three weeks, a solid nap would be the best present EVER) but that little familiar face makes it totally worth it. I can smell the baby lotion that I rubbed on her before she went to sleep (the first time). I can see her silhouette in the darkened bedroom-- from the nose down, s

Oh the glamorous life I lead. Everyone tried to tell me that having a newborn would equal sleep deprivation (it does), tear filled nights (yep) and lots and lots of shitty diapers (double check that on the list). I haven't had many tear filled nights and the ones that I HAVE had have been because of sleep derivation. Until tonight. That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real. There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I chang

So the ride on a gurney towards the operating room seemed so long, even though it was just down the hall. Maybe it was the hellacious contraction I was having on the way? Possibly. Hubs had a designated chair in the hallway. The nurses rolled me right by him. He was dressed in scrubs-- he looked like a new resident on Grey's Anatomy-- nervous and kind of sick. On we roll. One big door opens into a freezer type room. Seriously, it was so cold in there. To my right (which was the back of the room) there was a little baby warmer, a scale and all the jazzy shit that babies need when they are cut out of you. To my left there was the "crucifix table" which was for me. Ok, I am not a complete heathen, that table really did look like a cross. What the hell did I sign up for? What was about to go down in this room? Ma'am? Sir? Is this thing on? I got some help being transferred from my gurney to the crucifix and I was introduced to the two anesthesiologists that would be inj

Ah, nine days ago, my husband and I were blessed with a small version of ourselves. She came into the world on her own terms-- who doubted that would be her process? Certainly not me! Baby K has rocked our very stable world for the past nine days. Who knew that such a small person could control two big people, one cat and three dogs? For those interested, below is part one of her (crazy) birth story. Part two is coming soon... along with the adventures of being a mom. Holy crap, I am someone's MOM. Jeez. I knew early on that I wanted to deliver by c-section. Often, when other preggos would discuss their birth plans, I would just remain quiet because I did not want to hear the bullshit status quo answers like "your body was made for this (vaginal delivery)" or "don't let your doctor talk you into a (horrible) c-section" or (my [non] favorite) "don't you want to KNOW that you can deliver your baby like women have been for thousands of years?"

Ah, 4 am-- we meet again. Here we are, at the beginning of week 29, and my "miserably" factor has been amped up to 1,000. I cannot sleep. I don't make it through the night-- and I have tried. Every night for the last few weeks. Seriously, 11 more weeks of this... y'all. Today I watched my little brother play in a college basketball game. As usual, I was a little, um, animated. I was tired afterward, but kept hubs company on the car ride home. Baby K was squirming around in utero, making the car ride home very uncomfortable, so when we got home I hopped right out of my jeans and right into bed. It was 7:30pm. Don't judge me-- I did not go right to sleep. I told hubs that I wanted to try to stay awake until 10 pm, in the hopes of sleeping through the night. I think I made it to 9:30. I slept until 12:30 am. And here I am four hours later, listening to hubs and ALL the animals in the house breathe in sleep... deeply. I'm freaking jealous. I have updated my ba

Week 26 and all the joy it brings, amirite? Here are a few reflections as I move through this week of fun filled runs to the bathroom and (well after) midnight foraging adventures in the kitchen. Glucose Test:  Yep, it sucked. I was thinking that maybe my sweet tooth and I would not be affected by that sickeningly sweet concoction, but I was wrong. Ugh.  So, let me tell y'all the real deets: at my last OB/GYN appointment I was given a choice of orange or fruit punch flavor. I chose fruit punch because, why not? I haven't tried out orange, but I imagine that it CANNOT be better or much different-- so I have concluded that both of these drinks taste like shit. So, you have 5 minutes to choke down this drink- and you CANNOT eat or drink after you have finished it. You have to remember the time you finished because 1 hour from then, you get a fantastic finger prick that will let you know if you have some form of gestational diabetes. Do I have to reiterate that I was not a fan o

This probably should have been my very first post, so y'all would know exactly HOW I got suckered into this thing called pregnancy. But, truthfully, I am a little backwards sometimes, so the fact that it ISN'T my first post on this blog is kind of apropos. I find that since this pregnancy hasn't been all sugar and spice, I am... a complainer. Plus, I have ALWAYS said in the past (and my friends have reminded me) that I really wasn't the kind of person to have children. I don't really like kids. Well, ok-- I like being the cool older person/babysitter/auntie figure... and then I like leaving and going back to my home, which is lazy and silent (besides the dogs barking and the infrequent meows from the cat). So what made me want to give up my fantastic house silence for the hustle and bustle of having a kid?? The truth? I was plied with alcohol. Seriously. Picture it: Spring, 2014. I got a text message from one of my college buds-- she wanted to meet up for drinks a