My First Mother's Day

It is 4:30 AM. I have been awake for two hours, after a two hour cat nap with my daughter. She is now sleeping and here I sit, watching Forensic Files, waiting for Mr. Sandman to come visit me again. The house is quiet, with the exception of the TV and the deep, slightly labored breathing of hubs, Baby K and the animals as they sleep. In the last two hours I have cuddled a crying baby, rocked her, fed her and changed a very full diaper... only to have her fill up another diaper within 5 minutes. I may never get back to sleep. As I turn to my left and look at her little sleeping face in the light of the computer and TV screens, I have no real complaints. I mean, everyone would like more sleep (and trust me, after three weeks, a solid nap would be the best present EVER) but that little familiar face makes it totally worth it. I can smell the baby lotion that I rubbed on her before she went to sleep (the first time). I can see her silhouette in the darkened bedroom-- from the nose down, she is my light skinned twin; she has hubs' eyes. She sleeps with her arms raised and if/when she is startled her arms jerk and she looks like she is conducting an orchestra. She smiles and purses her lips while sleeping. It is very cute. Her occasional little whimpers and three types of breathing (snoring) patterns fill the room and have transformed me into a light sleeper in these three short weeks. I'm a mom.

For the past couple of weeks my family has been asking me what I wanted for my very first Mother's Day. My response hasn't changed-- I didn't want anything. The more and more I think about it, the more I know that I DO actually want something, but it isn't anything that you can buy in a store. It will take a little more effort that just throwing up a "Happy Mother's Day" status on social media... a little more consideration, if you will. We are all (probably) 30+, right? We've all been through or seen some shit in our lives, right? So for Mother's Day, I propose that we use our knowledge to prop up a mom that we know. Call up your friend who lost her mom and see how she is dealing with this holiday (especially if this is her first Mother's Day alone). Take her out for a drink or better yet, go to her house with drinks. Call or text a new mom and see if you can bring over dinner--- even if it is take out. Get together with a few of your friends and clean up the yard of a mom whose children live out of state. Send an email to a mom that has lost her children or is currently fighting to get her children back; tell her that you are proud of her, thinking of her, praying for her. Plan a get together for your girlfriend that is struggling with infertility-- this holiday certainly reminds her of what she wants the most, but has not been able to achieve (yet). Make sure you don't leave out moms that are foster parents or have adopted children-- or grandparents, aunties, god parents, cousins, etc that have had to become parents because the biological parents are unable to do the job. Check on them, socialize with them, be nice to them.

Now take those suggestions and do them EVERY day. If there is one thing I have seen-- throughout my pregnancy and these short three weeks of mommyhood-- parents are judged for everything. EVERYthing. You do it. Hell, I do it. On holidays like this, I think we should celebrate moms (and dads, honestly) no matter if they are biological parents, adoptive parents, mentors, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, coaches... I've said it several times on my other blog and in real life-- Mother's Day and Father's Day should be used to celebrate anyone who positively impacts the life of children and makes them productive, considerate members of society. Those people should be celebrated every day. Raising children is a hard job. Every day we should take the opportunity to thank folks who are giving us good children. So thank y'all... Now get to work thanking the parents you know. Happy Mother's Day!