Poop Puke Extravaganza
Oh the glamorous life I lead. Everyone tried to tell me that having a newborn would equal sleep deprivation (it does), tear filled nights (yep) and lots and lots of shitty diapers (double check that on the list). I haven't had many tear filled nights and the ones that I HAVE had have been because of sleep derivation. Until tonight.
That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real.
There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I changed her and turned my attention to the canines-- because that would make sense. I went from room to room, but no logs were seen (hallelujah). But the smell was still there. And it was strong enough to turn my stomach. So I put on my detective hat and went from room to room. Checked the closets and under the beds. Under the bed. My bed. The nightmares will be everlasting.
It seems that my smallest (and cutest) dog found poop from an animal foreign to our backyard to snack on while out for a bathroom break. Clearly this foreigners poop did not agree with his tummy and he had to rid his little body of this substance as quickly as possible. In two smelly heaps under my bed. And another smelly heap on my side of the bed. And a hidden extra smelly heap ON.MY.BED. Not to mention that it took a while to find the pile on my bed. Yeah.
I need it to be tomorrow.
That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real.
There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I changed her and turned my attention to the canines-- because that would make sense. I went from room to room, but no logs were seen (hallelujah). But the smell was still there. And it was strong enough to turn my stomach. So I put on my detective hat and went from room to room. Checked the closets and under the beds. Under the bed. My bed. The nightmares will be everlasting.
It seems that my smallest (and cutest) dog found poop from an animal foreign to our backyard to snack on while out for a bathroom break. Clearly this foreigners poop did not agree with his tummy and he had to rid his little body of this substance as quickly as possible. In two smelly heaps under my bed. And another smelly heap on my side of the bed. And a hidden extra smelly heap ON.MY.BED. Not to mention that it took a while to find the pile on my bed. Yeah.
I need it to be tomorrow.
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