PheMOMena

This is motherhood: here I sit, at 2:45 in the morning, watching Caribbean Life on HGTV and trying to quietly type my thoughts without waking a very talkative 18 month old. I swear that being a mom is really just undercover ninja training. Being THIS quiet is hard! I want to exhale loudly... especially if putting Baby K down takes an extended amount of time (which has been the case lately). But NO, quiet is a necessity for at least 20 minutes after she closes her chocolate colored eyeballs.  Being quiet at night is also really messing up my late night snacking life. I end up eating whatever makes the least amount of noise... which is never anything exceptionally good. I mean, chips come in crinkly bags, so guess who is eating pickles or canned fruit in the middle of the night? Not that there is anything wrong with those snacks, but, uh, if I have had to "mom" all day, I want some salty chips or great candy that I don't have to share.  Really I just want some qui...

After Baby K was born I struggled with how I was going to introduce myself to her. I mean, I spent months talking to her while she punted my internal organs around, but once she was born, how would I let her know who I am? How could I make sure that she knew that I look a little different on the outside, but it was my heart that she was hearing beat for all those months? Most importantly, how could I ensure that her first word would be...mama? (It is a thing I have... don't judge me). As soon as we knew she was paying attention (and able to follow our fingers), we started pointing to our noses and saying our names. Round a bouts of "mama, dada, Kenzie" were heard over and over again. She seemed to love it. Laughs were had. After a month or so, she joined in. She would point to my nose and it was my job to say "mama" so I did. About 8,000 times. I didn't care. Have you ever heard a six month old giggle? Heaven. Plus, when we got past the cooing stage, Ba...

This is going to be more of a catch up, what's been going on entry... because SO much has been happening around here. First of all, WE HAVE A WALKER!! That's right, Baby K is making her way everywhere, mostly on her own. For a few months she has been participating in assisted walking, which really just means that she was dragging me and hubs around the house for balance. She still crawls and does her little bunny hop, but she added (non assisted) walking to her repertoire on May 28th. To be fair she put together 3 steps on the 27th, but really took off the following day. Her new thing is to walk towards you like she is going to bless you with her presence and at the last minute she turns around and goes the other way-- it is very entertaining... for her. Next: she still hates baths. Like, crying fits, hates them. She will get wiped off with little to no problems but the whole immerse her body into water is a constant struggle. She hayed the little seat that you put in the bat...

Ah, the joys of pregnancy. Amirite, ladies? What you will discover VERY early on is that pregnancy is about growing a healthy baby AND getting examined. Exams, exams, exams... and a few blood tests. Trust me, readers, I am certainly no prude, however, there is nothing that prepares you for the number of times your doctor (and whoever is assisting him) will see your nether regions during this 10 month time period. I mean, it is like a party where you don't wear pants. Pantless party - population you and one sturdy pair of stirrups. Mercy!  It starts rather early too. It isn't like they give you a chance to get comfortable with the idea of going from a pap smear once every two years to throwing your feet above your head every other office visit. They don't really ease a girl into this. As I recall, you are safe for the first visit because they don't REALLY know if you are carrying an energy zapping parasite , er, baby. You go in and say "hey, I think I might be...

It has occurred to me that I just started this blog without introducing myself. I guess that I always figured that the only people that would read this would be my family and friends, but what better way to kick off a blogging challenge besides some sort of introduction, right? I mean you want to know how large a raving lunatic I am before taking my parenting advice, right? You need to have some idea about exactly how sarcastic I can be, right? FYI- my sarcasm level is off the charts. Every day, all day.   Let's see if we can't shine some light on the lady behind this blog, shall we? Here are 15 fast facts about me. These are in no particular order... * I am rarely sappy. My go-to emotion is sarcasm or jokes. Mostly sarcasm.  * I never thought that I would have a child. Like, ever... but I do love Baby K more than words can express.  * Hubs is my best friend and even if I told him every day how invaluable he is to me, it still would not be enough.  * I...