PheMOMena

Generally, I am off mom duty for about an hour and a half on Wednesday. Every Wednesday hubs packs a very excited ballerina into the car with a bag containing two different pairs of shoes- ballet and tap. I watch them pull out of the garage and *run* back to my (still) hot cup of coffee. As I slowly sip my magical concoction, I mentally prepare for the day, grateful to have some time away from my little sunshine. I drink my coffee while it is hot. I make lists for the next few days. I pick something to clean in the house. If I am feeling really fancy, I will throw together something for lunch, which would technically be my breakfast because I have a fucked up eating/sleeping/living situation. (Just so you know, I don’t generally feel really fancy... because I would rather soak up the silence than eat.) These are the things that happen on Wednesday. Every Wednesday EXCEPT today. Today, schedules collided, hubs had shit to do and mama had to take Little Miss K to dance class. I w...

Baby K is transitioning from a babbling baby to a very talkative toddler. It has been in the works for a bit now. I mean, if you look at her parents, it is easy to see WHY Baby K would be a talker. Ok- if you look at ONE of her parents. It is me. I am the talkative parent. I have to admit that when kids learn to talk... that shit is hilarious. It is funny and cute and completely inappropriate to repeatedly ask your daughter to repeat herself when she says new words. I am totally guilty of having a 'bad mom' smirk on my face as my child adds to her vocabulary. I cannot help it. When she first ventured out into sing-a-longs with us, her favorite song was "The Wheels on the Bus." She knows what the wipers do, the windows, the wheels. Then we got to the door and y'all. Y'all. Did you know the doors on the bus go "open and shuck"? Because they do in this house. And I absolutely REFUSE to correct her. I know that she will learn the right way to say it....

Most days I am “mama,” hubs is “dada,” and our offspring is “Kensie”. Most days. Which is generally how we like it, since we pored over our baby name list and picked a name that had meaning to us and all that jazz, right!? Right.  Starting yesterday, Kensie decided that she was NOT going to be Kensington for the duration. She was on some ‘my name is whatever I say it is’ bullshit. Not only did she say what her new name was, but Mark and I got new names also. She changed up the game all over. Like, fuck my feelings forever— she didn’t care that I’ve had the same name for 41 years, that shit stopped yesterday! 😒😒 So yesterday, Baby K was Owlette from PJ Mask. I was Cat Boy (did NOT like) and hubs was Gekko. If we called her baby, Kensie or any other name besides Owlette she SWIFTLY sent the correction AND would not answer us until we used her proper name. Protests of “I Owlette!!” rang through our house, followed by this look that screamed “I thought y’all were smart, but...

Welcome back to my crazy life! I know, I know, you probably just made a face and thought "I mean, how crazy could her life ACTUALLY be?" Well, darling, let me fill you in... on just the last day and a half. [Maybe my life isn't crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Could be. Yeah... totally could be.] It is just shy of three in the morning and here I am, trying to type quietly so I don't wake the irritable toddler that (finally) decided to go to sleep "in mama's bed." The same bed that she has peed in TWICE in the last 36 hours. BTW- never been so happy to have purchased a mattress protector, IN MY WHOLE LIFE. Big girl panties SUCK. So, laundry is the pits and I find myself just wanting to throw everything away, turn our Honda Element into a mini camper and go to the land of 'no sheets allowed' where toddlers walk around naked until they can figure out that they don't like the sensation of warm piss flowing down their formerly chunky legs. Yesterday...

This is going to be more of a catch up, what's been going on entry... because SO much has been happening around here. First of all, WE HAVE A WALKER!! That's right, Baby K is making her way everywhere, mostly on her own. For a few months she has been participating in assisted walking, which really just means that she was dragging me and hubs around the house for balance. She still crawls and does her little bunny hop, but she added (non assisted) walking to her repertoire on May 28th. To be fair she put together 3 steps on the 27th, but really took off the following day. Her new thing is to walk towards you like she is going to bless you with her presence and at the last minute she turns around and goes the other way-- it is very entertaining... for her. Next: she still hates baths. Like, crying fits, hates them. She will get wiped off with little to no problems but the whole immerse her body into water is a constant struggle. She hayed the little seat that you put in the bat...

Y'all. We are under attack. Right now, as I type, our household is being held hostage.. by a teething toddler. Seriously, sweet baby Jesus, WHY???? Now I will say this: until now, hubs and I have been spared. Baby K has 8 teeth, 4 on the top, 4 on the bottom. They all came in with no problem. Like, zero problems. She wasn't extra clingy, no fever, no crying. Just excessive drooling... and, given the alternative, I can deal with that.  Well, when we went to her 12 month check up last week, our pediatrician told us that all of her molars are coming in-- at the same time. That day she didn't seem to bothered at all. She happily ate very berry Cheerios, drank breast milk, ate purees... attempted to eat baby wipes (what can I say? My baby is an adventurous eater). Fast forward a week. Lucifer has entered my sweet child and forced her to terrorize us. Oh my good god.  Last night she had a slight fever. Now, I found out, long ago, that Baby K does not tolerate Tylenol we...