PheMOMena

Baby K is transitioning from a babbling baby to a very talkative toddler. It has been in the works for a bit now. I mean, if you look at her parents, it is easy to see WHY Baby K would be a talker. Ok- if you look at ONE of her parents. It is me. I am the talkative parent. I have to admit that when kids learn to talk... that shit is hilarious. It is funny and cute and completely inappropriate to repeatedly ask your daughter to repeat herself when she says new words. I am totally guilty of having a 'bad mom' smirk on my face as my child adds to her vocabulary. I cannot help it. When she first ventured out into sing-a-longs with us, her favorite song was "The Wheels on the Bus." She knows what the wipers do, the windows, the wheels. Then we got to the door and y'all. Y'all. Did you know the doors on the bus go "open and shuck"? Because they do in this house. And I absolutely REFUSE to correct her. I know that she will learn the right way to say it....

My Facebook Memories just informed me that around this date last year, hubs and I were on our way to our chosen hospital for a maternity tour. Fun and excitement, right? I mean you are anywhere from five to fifteen weeks to meeting a little person that looks like you, so why not go see where this being is going to be delivered? Don't you want to see a mock up of the room where your Labor and Delivery nurse will take a crying blob, with your husband's nose and a head full of amniotic fluid soaked hair, and place it on your chest? Good concept... the actual visit though? Uh, no.  So, I LOVED my hospital experience, I loved the staff, I wanted my daughter to be born at The Ohio State University hospital (just like I was, and my sister... and my mom). What i didn't like was the fucking maternity tour--stay with me here. I wanted to make sure that I did all the "mom to be" stuff, especially after hubs and I decided that Baby K was going to be an only child, so I w...

One year ago I found out I was pregnant. I know that I have an infant and life seems to go by MONTHS at a time now, instead of days, but it really doesn't seem like a year ago. It seems like 15 years ago. Let me explain. Hubs and I talked about planning a pregnancy. Since we are (a bit) outside the prime baby making years we definitely had a talk about the possibility of not ever being parents. We were firm on the details... if we were to "get pregnant" that would be cool; if we didn't, that would be fine too... and we were not going to have any medical intervention. So IVF was off the table for us. We were just going to try and see what would happen. And guess what? We tried for a year and nothing happened. Not a thing. Month after month it seemed like our want for a baby increased and we were shot down time after time. It was sad. By July 2015, after 13 months of trying, I set up an appointment with my gynecologist to make sure that we should keep trying. Appointm...

Summertime in the city. We have been hitting the streets a lot lately, traveling and such. When folks see the cute, chubby Baby K one of the first things they ask is: "Are you going to have another baby?" Uh, no-- thank you for asking. Such a weird question to ask... especially if we aren't related. Or close. Or acquaintances. This one little, old lady told me that if I didn't have another baby, Baby K would be lonely and grow up to resent me. Also, according to her, I didn't need to get the all clear from the doc before hubs and I started "trying" again... we should "just do it." Dear ma'am at the grocery store... Uh, NO. Ok, a couple things.  First:  I can honestly say, I have never had an overwhelming want or need to be a mom. I mean, it is great work if you can get it, but it certainly was not on my radar for the first 35 years of my life. Now, I love the time that I spend with my little chubbers, but it totally was not at the top o...

When you are preparing to come home with a baby one of the first things the doctors and nurses will tell you is sometimes babies have night and day cycles mixed up. That means that, more than likely, your baby will be awake at night and sleep soundly during the day. Totally true. Baby K is just now attempting to figure out a sleeping pattern of a normal person. She will sleep in her bassinet during the day, no problem. Somehow, as soon as the sun goes down, she has an aversion to the bassinet-- can't sleep there, won't sleep there. Nope. During daylight hours I have to wake her up so she can eat and play, but let the moon shine brightly in the sky-- this little night owl wants to socialize. Like she is at the club, y'all. Cooing, grunting, eye contact, smiling; I mean, you would think I was buying her an all inclusive trip to Disney World the way she is chatting me up at 3 in the morning. We are working on it. On Sunday hubs and I were made privy to something else that ...

It is 4:30 AM. I have been awake for two hours, after a two hour cat nap with my daughter. She is now sleeping and here I sit, watching Forensic Files, waiting for Mr. Sandman to come visit me again. The house is quiet, with the exception of the TV and the deep, slightly labored breathing of hubs, Baby K and the animals as they sleep. In the last two hours I have cuddled a crying baby, rocked her, fed her and changed a very full diaper... only to have her fill up another diaper within 5 minutes. I may never get back to sleep. As I turn to my left and look at her little sleeping face in the light of the computer and TV screens, I have no real complaints. I mean, everyone would like more sleep (and trust me, after three weeks, a solid nap would be the best present EVER) but that little familiar face makes it totally worth it. I can smell the baby lotion that I rubbed on her before she went to sleep (the first time). I can see her silhouette in the darkened bedroom-- from the nose down, s...

Oh the glamorous life I lead. Everyone tried to tell me that having a newborn would equal sleep deprivation (it does), tear filled nights (yep) and lots and lots of shitty diapers (double check that on the list). I haven't had many tear filled nights and the ones that I HAVE had have been because of sleep derivation. Until tonight. That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real. There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I chang...

This probably should have been my very first post, so y'all would know exactly HOW I got suckered into this thing called pregnancy. But, truthfully, I am a little backwards sometimes, so the fact that it ISN'T my first post on this blog is kind of apropos. I find that since this pregnancy hasn't been all sugar and spice, I am... a complainer. Plus, I have ALWAYS said in the past (and my friends have reminded me) that I really wasn't the kind of person to have children. I don't really like kids. Well, ok-- I like being the cool older person/babysitter/auntie figure... and then I like leaving and going back to my home, which is lazy and silent (besides the dogs barking and the infrequent meows from the cat). So what made me want to give up my fantastic house silence for the hustle and bustle of having a kid?? The truth? I was plied with alcohol. Seriously. Picture it: Spring, 2014. I got a text message from one of my college buds-- she wanted to meet up for drinks a...