PheMOMena

Summertime in the city. We have been hitting the streets a lot lately, traveling and such. When folks see the cute, chubby Baby K one of the first things they ask is: "Are you going to have another baby?" Uh, no-- thank you for asking. Such a weird question to ask... especially if we aren't related. Or close. Or acquaintances. This one little, old lady told me that if I didn't have another baby, Baby K would be lonely and grow up to resent me. Also, according to her, I didn't need to get the all clear from the doc before hubs and I started "trying" again... we should "just do it." Dear ma'am at the grocery store... Uh, NO. Ok, a couple things.  First:  I can honestly say, I have never had an overwhelming want or need to be a mom. I mean, it is great work if you can get it, but it certainly was not on my radar for the first 35 years of my life. Now, I love the time that I spend with my little chubbers, but it totally was not at the top o...

It is early. As in, the sun is barely up. I know that most people are up and moving around this time, but we don't generally see early morning in this house. Hubs works second shift (usually home around 2 or 2:30 am) and we have a little human that likes to play when she should be sleeping. It is early and I am awake. Awake, drinking coffee and taking it all in. This blog will tell you the funniest or weirdest events that happen on our journey of parenthood-- and there will be plenty of stories because hubs and I are old, first time parents with smart mouths and no real experience, but today... today I will fill you in on what I see in these wee hours. The house is (mostly) silent. The (three) dogs have been outside for their morning bathroom break, so they are sleeping again. The loudest one is the chihuahua- she snores like an old man. It still amazes me that such big sounds come from a six pound dog. The cat is roaming the house like a black panther-- looking for prey to pou...

When you are preparing to come home with a baby one of the first things the doctors and nurses will tell you is sometimes babies have night and day cycles mixed up. That means that, more than likely, your baby will be awake at night and sleep soundly during the day. Totally true. Baby K is just now attempting to figure out a sleeping pattern of a normal person. She will sleep in her bassinet during the day, no problem. Somehow, as soon as the sun goes down, she has an aversion to the bassinet-- can't sleep there, won't sleep there. Nope. During daylight hours I have to wake her up so she can eat and play, but let the moon shine brightly in the sky-- this little night owl wants to socialize. Like she is at the club, y'all. Cooing, grunting, eye contact, smiling; I mean, you would think I was buying her an all inclusive trip to Disney World the way she is chatting me up at 3 in the morning. We are working on it. On Sunday hubs and I were made privy to something else that ...

It is 4:30 AM. I have been awake for two hours, after a two hour cat nap with my daughter. She is now sleeping and here I sit, watching Forensic Files, waiting for Mr. Sandman to come visit me again. The house is quiet, with the exception of the TV and the deep, slightly labored breathing of hubs, Baby K and the animals as they sleep. In the last two hours I have cuddled a crying baby, rocked her, fed her and changed a very full diaper... only to have her fill up another diaper within 5 minutes. I may never get back to sleep. As I turn to my left and look at her little sleeping face in the light of the computer and TV screens, I have no real complaints. I mean, everyone would like more sleep (and trust me, after three weeks, a solid nap would be the best present EVER) but that little familiar face makes it totally worth it. I can smell the baby lotion that I rubbed on her before she went to sleep (the first time). I can see her silhouette in the darkened bedroom-- from the nose down, s...

Oh the glamorous life I lead. Everyone tried to tell me that having a newborn would equal sleep deprivation (it does), tear filled nights (yep) and lots and lots of shitty diapers (double check that on the list). I haven't had many tear filled nights and the ones that I HAVE had have been because of sleep derivation. Until tonight. That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real. There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I chang...

Ah, 4 am-- we meet again. Here we are, at the beginning of week 29, and my "miserably" factor has been amped up to 1,000. I cannot sleep. I don't make it through the night-- and I have tried. Every night for the last few weeks. Seriously, 11 more weeks of this... y'all. Today I watched my little brother play in a college basketball game. As usual, I was a little, um, animated. I was tired afterward, but kept hubs company on the car ride home. Baby K was squirming around in utero, making the car ride home very uncomfortable, so when we got home I hopped right out of my jeans and right into bed. It was 7:30pm. Don't judge me-- I did not go right to sleep. I told hubs that I wanted to try to stay awake until 10 pm, in the hopes of sleeping through the night. I think I made it to 9:30. I slept until 12:30 am. And here I am four hours later, listening to hubs and ALL the animals in the house breathe in sleep... deeply. I'm freaking jealous. I have updated my ba...

Last week, while my daughter was tapping out Morse code on my internal organs, my husband and I were discussing how to know when you are too old to become a FTP (first time parent).  I mean, in the beginning, I truly believed that we were (probably) too old to become parents. About a year into our marriage we had a very frank conversation about whether or not children were going to be a part of our lives. I decided... I mean, WE decided that we would try for a limited time and if it didn't happen for us in our timeframe then we would not have kids. It was all very cerebral. Very rational, which is kind of our thing. We sleep in on the weekends, we barely go out and party with our friends, a night on the town generally includes finishing laundry, buying take-out from our favorite Chinese restaurant and getting a movie from Redbox. We are not wild and crazy animals over here. Essentially, we are the epitome of old.  But I couldn't have some lame ass answer when having th...