PheMOMena

You know, when you are pregnant people think  it is hilarious to send you pictures and videos of massive diaper blowouts. Babies just covered in poop, onesies that will never recover-- no matter how many times they are washed. You also get lovely pictures of toddlers covered in peanut butter or shaving cream, while writing on white walls with a black permanent marker. When I was pregnant I was convinced that my friends and family were trying to torture me with proof of misdeeds by little people.  I think that maybe those pictures and videos helped strengthen my nerves when it came to poop. Luckily, hubs and I never really had to deal with lots of poop or puke. I can count on one hand how many times in her 23 months that Baby K puked all over. Each time it was because she was inhaling her favorite food-- green beans. The explosive puke was traumatic, at the time, but so infrequent that I wasn't even going to write about it.  What I do NOT understand is why no one...

Oh the glamorous life I lead. Everyone tried to tell me that having a newborn would equal sleep deprivation (it does), tear filled nights (yep) and lots and lots of shitty diapers (double check that on the list). I haven't had many tear filled nights and the ones that I HAVE had have been because of sleep derivation. Until tonight. That's right, ladies and gents. The events of tonight put me on my ass, hear me?! I mean, I was kind of rocking this whole "new mom" thing. I am generally showered and slightly presentable. Baby K is always on point when we leave the house. I am bouncing back from that c-section... like a champ. But today, y'all. Today didn't play fair. For real. There I was, minding my own business, trying to prepare lunch for tomorrow and clean the kitchen, when all of a sudden the smell of poop filled my nostrils. I looked to the baby, of course. No dice. She was sleeping in a wet diaper but no poop to be seen... no gas to be smelled. I chang...